Motivational Speaker and Behavioral Expert Gives a Key: “You’ve Got to Have Your Why!”

You’ve Got to Have Your Why!

Imagine there is a two foot wide by twenty foot long board on the ground and I place a $100 at the end and ask you to walk across to the other side. Would you do it? Most people would answer yes.

What are you paying attention to? You are focusing on the desired result. You are focusing on successfully reaching your goal and getting the money. This is a positive “moving towards” strategy.

Now imagine that I take that same plank of wood and place it twenty stories high between two buildings. I tell you that this is a no wind day, gravity is not a factor and you have just as much of a chance to be successful walking across that board twenty stories high as you had on the ground. Would you do it? Most people answer NO.

What’s different this time? It’s all about how it occurs to you. Its how you observe this and the “story” you tell yourself about it. Your focus is different. At twenty stories high now your focus is on failure. You have a “moving away” strategy. Your thoughts are consumed with “I might fall off the board and die”.

Manifestation will occur either way. Your thoughts are electrical to chemical processes and the chemicals produced, neural transmitters have a charge and like attracts like so you manifest into reality that which you are dwelling on. You make it happen either positive or negative.

If you could change your observation, how this occurs to you, then you could change your outcome. It has to do with your WHY. What would need to be on the other end of that board for you to shift your focus from failure to success? It certainly is not the $100. What if it was one million dollars? For some that amount would create the shift but for most the answer still would be NO.

What if it was your family on the other side and the only way you could save them would be to cross that board? Would you do it then? For most that is the perceptual tipping point. No longer are you concerned with your own safety. There is a bigger purpose or WHY. Once you find your WHY you will also experience a shift in what you pay attention to.

Lets’ apply this to a common theme that many people can identify with, weight control. Doctors can talk about the obesity epidemic, the negative health effects of being over weight such as cardio vascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and a host of other life threatening circumstances all attributed to being overweight. Doctors can tell you that you’re going to die if you don’t lose weight and this still will not cause the perceptual shift for most people.

This has to do with immediate versus delayed gratification. You can overeat today, skip exercise today and tomorrow you will still be alive. Since the negative impact is an accumulative effect over a long period of time it’s just too easy to “start” later. It’s the starting that stops most people.”

You need to develop your WHY that is linked to right now, the present. I’ll use myself as an example. This may sound strange but it will illustrate my point.

For a long time I wanted to lose weight. It was a good idea but the problem was that I wasn’t heavy enough to make it much of a big deal. I just wanted to lose about 40 pounds to look and feel better. I was always exercising and my food choices were outstanding, low fat, high fiber but I just ate too much. Grilled chicken and non fat cottage cheese are good choices but four chicken breasts and an entire container of cottage cheese at about a thousand calories is just too much.

I’ve got to have my WHY that is related to the present. I found it with skydiving. I’m a pilot and skydiver. I fly out to the drop zone twice a month to make a few jumps. I jump with a group of people ranging from four to twenty. This is called formation skydiving. The most exciting position to have is to be the last one out of the plane and “dive” to the base formation that has formed in advance. You really are flying like an eagle and it’s a blast.

However, when I was heavy I would fall too fast and “go low” on the formation. This means that I was not able to slow my fall rate and I would just go right on by the rest of the group. This is a bad thing.

This became my WHY that was linked to the present. Right now I see the impact of being heavy creating a result that I didn’t like. When I lost my weight it all changed. At two hundred pounds I can dive on any skydive and be able to adjust my fall rate to match that of the slower falling group. At two hundred and ten I am guaranteed to go low.

This has been the incentive that I needed to keep the weight off. No matter what your goal is there needs to be a focus of the benefit for right now. Behavior is all about cost versus benefit, time delay versus immediate gratification.

If you can’t find your why you can use behavioral contracting to get yourself to comply with the behavior for the short term, this week. Make a specific commitment for the next seven days and designate a severe consequence for non performance. If it is more painful then the pain of the activity then this will work to shift your attention and get you to take the action over the next seven days. This will at least buy you some time to figure out your WHY!

I’m always only an email away from accountability, info@bobdavies.com plus a hundred bucks if you don’t do what you said you would do!

The 1.2% Factor and Life Coaching

Want to motivate yourself and others? Check this out!

Three Atlanta area researchers reported evidence confirming that there is only a 1.2% difference in the genetic coding of the genes of chimps and humans. However, there are significant differences. In any particular part of the brain only about 10% of our gene activity differs from those of chimpanzees according to researcher Katie Pollard, an associate professor with the UCSF Department of Epidemiology and Biostatistics and the UCSF Institute for Human Genetics. The difference in the molecular evolution between humans and chimps is very small, but significant. “Only one in 100 base pairs is different” according to the research by Pollard and others.

This likeness presents opportunities to learn more about humans and diseases. In particular, chimps are immune to AIDS and Malaria. There are many examples of the small creating outcomes that are big. At 211 degrees water is hot. At 212 degrees, it boils. Vince Lomabardi said “inches make a champion”. Thomas Edison said “many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Yes it’s the little things that make the difference. I can still remember as a college football coach drilling the little things, like keeping your shirt tucked in, stance and starts, tackling drills, first step drills, quick hand and quick feet drills. All these little things accumulate to give the ever so slight edge that enabled an athlete to just barely get off of a block and make a tackle.

So what does this mean for corporate leadership? It has a lot to do with coaching and mentoring. If you are committed to helping others with personal development then I want you to realize that there is only one small change that you need to make a very big difference. That is the small change of accountability.

If the brain was connected to a functional magnetic reasoning machine, fMRI, you would actually see what areas of the brain are using energy during particular tasks. Show a person a picture and the visual area lights up. Play some music and the auditory cortex is active. When someone makes a commitment the outer cortex is activated and then an area of the brain referred to as the limbic area becomes active. This means that the individual has declared their action and now the brain is searching for emotional memories of danger associated with that action that are life threatening. This is a subconscious process.

The subconscious brain fires 400 times faster than the conscious thinking mind. The individual commits to making so many prospecting calls per day. The brain sends a signal from the cortex to the amygdale, a structure in the limbic area. The amygdale sends a signal to the hippocampus searching for stored memories of danger, like rejection. This is called a cortical limbic loop and the signal comes back to the conscious mind first through your physiology, a knot in your stomach and then through your thoughts about how busy you are and you just don’t have time to prospect.

You need to hijack this circuit. You do that through a behavioral contract. The behavioral contract consists of the check in and accountability. Accountability has two parts, the check in and the enforceable consequence for non performance. The driving force here is genetic coding. We are all coded to avoid the highest level of perceived pain. This is not an option. This is an instinct. You will avoid the highest level of perceived pain, period. The key is to make this avoidance the actual execution of the desired activity.

Here is how you do it.

Let’s say you make a commitment to exercise five times this week. It’s Sunday, your commitments are due this evening and you’ve only worked out four times. You don’t feel like going to the gym, you’re tired, you’ve worked hard all week and all you want to do is just relax.

Your brain searches and finds how painful and inconvenient exercise is. Before you avoid it however, your brain continues to verify that this indeed is the highest level of pain and it comes to your behavioral contract. Lets’ say you contracted for five workouts this week or you would pay a fine of $100. Now your brain has something to be in reference to. What is more painful, going to the gym or paying $100? Most likely you will hold the fine as more painful and away you go to the gym. You have just witnessed a behavioral contract in action.

You are still the very same genetic avoidance machine that you are genetically coded to be. You have just manipulated the gene expression with your contract. Apply this with one small action this week and watch what happens.

Use this with another person and you will be the business mentor that you’ve always wanted to be! I’ll bet that you both do what you said you would do!

Freedom, Energy, Commitment and Optimistic Spirit

Think back to a time in your life when you gave everything you had to the accomplishing of a goal and felt absolutely exhausted and satisfied, even exhilarated. Think of the camaraderie between all on your team.

How far back did you have to go? I’ll bet that for a lot of people this brought them back to some type of athletic event as a participant. It did for me. I think back to my time as a football coach at Cal State Fullerton.

Our staff and team had several things in common. First, we faced adversity. It was us, the little guys from a small school versus the big guys from the big conferences with the big budges and facilities. It became anUSversus THEM scenario.

I can remember all of the hard work, time and effort that we all gave to our program. I can also remember the love and tight inclusive camaraderie between the players and staff. This is the result of an “all in” effort towards the accomplishment of a shared goal.

You just don’t find this in businesses today. Somehow people have become independent, out for themselves without regard for the total picture. Businesses have evolved to an environment where theUSversus THEM might be the employees versus management rather than the company versus the outside elements.

Whatever happened to maximum effort in a “whatever it takes” commitment? Whatever happened to an individual’s intense desire to grow, improve and learn? Benjamin Barber, an eminent sociologist, once said, “I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures…I divide the world into learners and nonlearners.”

What on earth would make someone lose their intense desire to compete, to grow, to have passion for their life? Everyone is born with an intense drive to learn and improve. Infants are examples of this. They are stretching their boundaries daily. They never decide that learning to walk and talk is just too hard and not worth the effort.

Babies don’t worry about making mistakes or humiliating themselves. They walk, they fall, they get up. They just keep on keeping on.

What could put an end to this exuberant passion for learning and improvement? It’s language. As soon as children become able to evaluate themselves and to express themselves with language then the decline begins. It’s the stories we tell ourselves that either creates or denies access to behavior.

I’m writing this on the 4th of July weekend. The 4th is an American celebration of freedom. This freedom we many times take for granted. The past few months have accentuated the difference between our democracy and every other form of governance.

Our police don’t shoot protesters. Our news reporters don’t disappear when they are critical of the current administration. Our elections, scandal free for the most part, reflect the true will of the people. In short, we are free.

Every person has the opportunity to create their own mindset, their own set of circumstances and then apply enough energy to turn their desires into reality. Our economy is not perfect and never will be. There have always been cycles of the ups and downs. However, in the end, the freedom to make choices in business, the freedom to reinvent, change direction, whatever it takes, has always gotten us through. Not only that, times like these have made our country stronger.

Einstein gave us the answer to our problems when he declared E equals MC squared. This means that if you put enough energy into the system then you will create mass or in this case business results.

Prior to Einstein Charles Darwin made a significant contribution when he said that nature selects those organisms that are able to adapt to changes in a way that favors survival.

What adaptations do you need to make? Do you need to learn and sell a new product? Do you need to develop relationships with other experts and serve each others clients? Do you need to upgrade your education, certifications and licensing? What adaptations to the changing marketplace do you need to make?

If you can work your way out of a problem then you don’t have a problem. You have the freedom to control your focus, your preparation and your effort. Or, you can give that freedom away to others and allow them to dictate your state of mind for you.

I hope you take the time in your celebration of the Fourth of July to remember that at your business, your home, at the ballot box, you are free to make choices. There are not many in the world who can say that!